


You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

by RichardGraysonPercyJackson



Series: Alpha, Omega, And Pup [33]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Alpha Jason Todd, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Castration, Family, Family Drama, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Dick Grayson, Upset Dick Grayson, Vasectomy, dick's upset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichardGraysonPercyJackson/pseuds/RichardGraysonPercyJackson
Summary: “Hey Jay!”“What’s up?”“So there’s this doctor’s office down the road, about a fifteen minute drive, I was thinking you should get an appointment there soon.”“What are you talking about?”"I want you to get a vasectomy.”
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: Alpha, Omega, And Pup [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1302350
Comments: 19
Kudos: 154





	You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

**Author's Note:**

> Ages:
> 
> Grayson-Todd Household - 
> 
> Dick - 34
> 
> Jason - 32
> 
> Catherine - 14
> 
> Mary - 14
> 
> John - 9
> 
> Thompson Household - 
> 
> Thomas - 19
> 
> Adam - 20
> 
> Milo - 2

“Hey Jay!” Dick said cheerfully as he bounced into the living room where Jason was pouring over several guns disassembled across the coffee table. Normally Dick would object to the weapons being out in the open, but the girls and John were at school and Thomas had moved out into his own apartment with Adam and their pup, Milo, a year earlier so it was just Dick and Jason in the penthouse now.

“Hey Dick,” Jason replied half heartedly, attention focused on cleaning his weapons. “What’s up?”

“So there’s this doctor’s office down the road, about a fifteen minute drive,” Dick began. “It has really good reviews and Bruce has even done a thorough background check. Leslie agreed that it was a good place too, I was thinking you should get an appointment there soon.”

Jason looked up, staring at the large windows across from the couch and blinking slowly before looking over at Dick and asking,

“What are you talking about?”

“This.” The Omega handed him a little plastic stick. Jason huffed, putting his half-assembled gun down, quickly wiping off his hands before taking it from the Omega.

Looking down, he stared at the happy smiley face for a few moments before understanding finally dawned.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, slowly looking up at Dick who still had a smile on his face, though there was more murder than happiness in his eyes. Jason cleared his throat, shifting and sitting up a little straighter. “This doctor wouldn’t happen to be-”

Dick’s smile fell instantly into an unimpressed expression as he deadpanned, “I want you to get a vasectomy.”

Jason winced. “I thought you were taking pills,” he said weakly.

“And then I had to go off them for a few months after I got sick last year because of them, remember?”

“You never tried a new brand?”

Dick blinked, expression empty. “Are you blaming this on me?”

“No, you know what, what was the name of that clinic?” Jason asked quickly, freaking out just a little - as most Alphas did when faced with an angry mate - as he jumped to his feet and searched for his phone. “I’ll give them a call right now and get that appointment scheduled as soon as possible.”

As he headed into the kitchen, he heard Dick’s low reply of, “You do that, Jason.”

……………………………………..

“Hey!” Thomas siad, beaming as he opened the door to Jason standing there. “I wasn’t expecting you!”

“Sorry for just dropping in,” Jason said, smiling as two year old Milo babbled in Thomas’s arms, reaching eagerly for his grandfather - and wasn’t that a weird fucking thought when you’re only thirty-two? - who scooped him up and followed Thomas into the apartment.

“It’s not a problem,” his eldest assured with a smile as they headed over to the living room. “Adam’s at work so it’s just me and Milo here.”

“How’s everything been with Milo?” Jason asked, adjusting the toddler in his lap and trying not to grimace when the pup began chewing on his fingers.

“Good, it’s great,” Thomas replied, smiling. “Everything’s been great. How about you, how’s dad?”

Jason winced. “Kinda pissed,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “I hope you don’t mind if I hide out here for a few hours.”

“I don’t mind,” Thomas replied slowly. “What’s wrong with dad?”

“I uh...I may have…” Jason cleared his throat. “You might have another…”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Papa…?” he asked slowly.

Jason sighed. “He’s pregnant.”

Thomas blinked. Then he blinked again because he hadn’t expected that, even though it was the fourth time he’d been told that and honestly, he should be used to that by now.

“As uncomfortable of a question as this is,” he said slowly. “I thought dad was on birth control and you were using condoms.”

“Yeah, well, condoms are fallible,” Jason reluctantly pointed out. “So is birth control. Which, apparently, your dad went off a year ago.” he sighed, setting Milo on the floor before burying his face in his hands. “Which I  _ knew _ but apparently forgot.”

“What did dad do?”

“He wants me to get a vasectomy.”

Thomas winced. “He really  _ is _ pissed.” he lifted Milo into his arms when the boy whined at his feet, tugging on his jeans and wanting to be held. “So you’re just going to hide out here for awhile?”

“If you don’t mind,” Jason confessed. “You know how your dad gets when he’s upset.”

“While I do agree that you should probably give him time to cool down,” Thomas remarked. “I don’t think avoiding him all day is a very good idea. You’ll just make him more upset.”

Jason sighed, resting his elbow on his knee in order to place his chin on his palm as he regarded Thomas with a cool expression and remarked,

“If someone had told me nineteen years ago that I was going to be getting marriage advice from my first child, I would have decked them.”

Thomas grinned. “Papa, if someone had told you nineteen years ago that you would  _ have _ a first child, you would have decked them.”

Jason chuckled. “That’s true, I never did see myself in a fatherly role.”

“And now you’re expecting your fifth pup,” Thomas teased before quickly sobering. “How about this. I’ll call dad-”

“You’ll rat me out.”

Thomas smiled. “Sure. I’ll rat you out and tell dad where you are and when he gets here, the three of us can calmly talk instead of you going home and risking dad castrating you.”

Jason winced, pressing his legs together. “Yeah.”

…………………………………….

“So I hear congratulations are in order again,” Thomas said teasingly once Dick had arrived and was seated on the couch with Jason.

Dick sighed. “Yep,” he replied. “How long has your Papa been hiding here?”

“I ratted him out pretty quickly,” Thomas replied, chuckling.

“He did,” Jason confirmed.

“I just thought maybe you two should make a plan going forward  _ here _ as opposed to at home,” Thomas said. “So you don’t get tempted to castrate Papa.”

The way Dick’s blue eyes flashed had Jason wincing, knowing the idea was in the acrobat’s head now.

“That’s a good idea, Thomas,” he said. “I wouldn’t castrate him though.”

“You would if there was no other option,” Jason murmured.

Dick didn’t disagree which wasn’t entirely reassuring. “Well, since condoms and birth control apparently don’t work,” he began. “And abstinence just turns my heat into a living hell, the only other option  _ I _ can think of is vasectomy.”

“Or castration,” Thomas pointed out.

“Excuse me, who’s side are you on?” Jason demanded.

Thomas merely laughed. “I think vasectomy might be the best way to go.”

Jason sighed. “Yeah, it’s...probably time.”

“Jason, we’re about to have five pups,” Dick reminded him, arms crossed over his chest. “I think it was time after John was born, honestly.”

Jason winced. “That’s...fair.” he sighed. “Fine, I’ll clear my schedule and schedule an appointment.”

Dick smiled. “Thanks, Jason. And just for the record? If I’m having twins again? I’ll castrate you.”

Jason paled.

……………………………..

“So,” Jason said once he and Dick were seated in the living room with Catherine, Mary, and John. “Your dad and I have an exciting announcement for you”

“Oh god,” John groaned. “You’re pregnant again.”

Jason and Dick shared glances, Jason coughing into his fist to hide a laugh while Dick glared at him before turning back to the kids and saying,

“Yeah. I’m pregnant.” He frowned at John. “How did you know?”

“That’s the only announcement this family ever gives,” the nine year old replied. “Aside from the wedding announcement, but…” he shrugged. “Can I go back to my room now?”

Dick shook his head, sighing with a smile. “Yeah, you can go back to your room.”

As soon as he was gone, Catherine and Mary were all over Dick and Jason. “Is it a boy or a girl!?” Catherine asked eagerly while Mary waited with wide eyes for the response.

“We don’t know yet,” Jason replied. “Your dad and I only _ just _ found out this morning that he’s pregnant!”

“Ooh!!” Mary shrieked, Jason wincing at the pitch right in his ear. “A November baby!! Our family doesn’t have one of those!!”

“Adam’s birthday is in November,” Dick pointed out.

Mary blinked. “Oh yeah,” she murmured. “I forgot.”

“Well he’s not  _ technically _ family,” Catherine argued. “By blood, anyway.”

Dick didn’t know what to say to that, so he just shrugged instead. “Uh, sure I guess?” he looked over at Jason who just shrugged before saying,

“Hey, don’t you girls have homework to do?”

“Come on, Cath!” Mary siad, jumping up and grabbing her sister’s wrist. “We have to do our homework so we can start prepping the baby room!”

Dick sighed, leaning back on the couch as he and Jason watched the girls sprint down the hall.

“Hey Jay?” he said, after they’d been alone for a few moments.

“Yeah?”

“We had better not be having twins.”

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all asked for this, alright? Plus, I mean, I kinda want to : )
> 
> So I guess I gotta ask for baby names and whether or not they're having another set of twins.
> 
> These poor parents. They're not even in their forties and not only are they having a fifth (or sixth) kid but they're also grandparents.
> 
> Bruh, that makes Bruce a great-grandparent!


End file.
